Although the recent heavy-on-sound, light-on-fury Winter Meetings caused us to give it short shrift, — which, on the fifth of each December, commemorates the end of black-hearted Prohibition — ought to be a holy day of obligation for baseball fans the world over. After all, the day marks our democratic triumph over the meddlesome Protestants who for too long deprived us of wholesome, nutritious alcohol, which, in turn, deprived us of full enjoyment of this, our baseball.
One not need be a Sommelier of the Good Life to know that alcohol in general and beer in particular pair quite swimmingly with the sport that binds us. So let us now pay homage to the beer-baseball nexus — and, by extension, to Repeal Day — by revisiting what entrusted advertisers have taught us about the enjoyment of baseball and sudsy potions.
Come with me, won’t you?
: 1889: E&J Burke (Guinness): Cap Anson and Buck Ewing : You can still enjoy beer even if you or your buddy is ! : $188,000:
: 1913: Hoster-Columbus: Connie Mack and John McGraw: There was no Eastern Hemisphere in 1913, and John McGraw conquered South America with nothing more than hard stares and a mighty will. :
: 1945: All of beer: Gentlemen rooters of the base-ball: TheseSheyi Ojo is set to sign a new five-year contract with Liverpool.The Guardian says the Reds will immediately loan Ojo out after he commits his long-term future.The 21-year-old endured a tough loan spell with Stade de Reims this season.Rangers manager Steven Gerrard is a keen admirer of Ojo and the Scottish giants are one of many clubs interested in signing the Reds academy graduate. gentlemen are happy and fulfilled for no fewer than five reasons: 1) They are at a baseball game; 2) Beer is sold by the bucket-full; 3) The war is drawing to a close; 4) They live in a time and culture in which hot dogs are served on French porcelain dinnerware; and 5) Syphilis is now . :
: 1950s: Schlitz: Revelry in general and as a guiding concept: “Schlitz” is not only a refreshing malt beverage but also a treacherously pronounced prefix. Also, the lady in the orange sundress is obviously testing the bounds of decency, perhaps as a consequence of both a rotten moral core and too much Schlitzing. :
: 1959: Ortlieb’s: Pen-and-ink, lantern-jawed ballplayer and suburban temptress — quite possibly the cleat-chasing bimbo from the Schlitz ad (see the damnably similar hairstyle). : Ortlieb’s pursues a narrow demographic: the heteronormative “he-man” who drinks without ceasing before and after ballgames but not during them. In contrast to other potable liquids, Ortlieb’s is “wet.” :
: 1962: Rheingold: Casey Stengel, you-know-who: So the floozy who favors hother in the first-half of Sunday’s defeat.The unbeaten Reds were seconds away from their first league defeat in 27 matches before Sadio Mane scored a header in the 94th minute to rescue all three points. “A lot of their players were arguing and youthe latest in orange-hued women’s fashions is as promiscuous with her men as she is with her domestic-swill loyalt for a new midfield addition next month.Milan coach Stefano Pioli is eager to add a box-to-box midfielder over the winter market and their search is leading to the Premier League.While Napoli ace Allan is a target, the Rossonero are also keen on sackies! It matters not to her — smoldering weekender vacantly reliving what might have been, sun-kissed major-leaguer, or pickled skipper clinging to his faculties — as long as they wear the uniform and have a full cooler, she’s a consenting adult. But don’t blame the Ol’ Perfesser: For he knows a good-time dame when he sees one. Plus, syphilis has been cured for nigh 20 years or more! : , of all places
: 1970s: Pabst: Gorman Thomas. That has to be Gorman Thomas, right?: It’s not certain whether Gorman Thomas will range deep into center in pursuit of a baseball or even a mug of beer, but it is certain that Gorman Thomas will range deep into center in pursuit of a snifter of beer. And who can blame him? :
Note: Further investigation reveals subject to be totally Gorman Thomas …
And although what follows has nothing to do with baseball, no cursory discussion of beer advertisements would be complete without it …
As the history of history teaches us, the past is way creepier than the present.
In closing and in further honor of Repeal Day, please do raise a half-emptied Gorman Thomas snifter to Hall-of-Famer and Drinking ManTM Ed Delahanty, who in 1903 hastened the occasion of his death by getting crocked on train, threatening his fellow passengers with a razor, being given the bum’s rush off that train, and then . “The Good Life,” is what they call it.
Cheers to baseball!
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